SOURCES SAY: Mythbuster will change name, infringe a different Discovery Channel trademark
Have you heard? The Moon Mythbuster is undergoing a massive rebrand!
You may have heard that the University administration accused us of trademark infringement — not just against the school, but also against Discovery Channel’s TV show, “Mythbusters.” Since we totally agree that our G**-damn college news site could easily be mistaken for an educational TV series about debunking pop-culture science myths, and since we were caught red-handed trying to impersonate Adam and Jamie themselves, the Editors here had some serious soul-searching talks.
After some (legal) discussions, our news site's Editors have decided to undergo a drastic name change that we think will more clearly display the real ethos that we are trying to cultivate: stealing shamelessly from Discovery Channel educational programming.
We asked you, our remarkably attractive readers, for your input through a Name Change Contest. You submitted several solid options which we are™ (wouldn’t want Penn State suing) going to workshop below. With your continued input, we will make sure we do not get sued by Discovery for the "Mythbusters" trademark, but instead get sued for a completely different trademark.
The first of the options is the Moon Dirty Jobs™. We feel as if this is a strong contender because, as some of our readers may know, reporting on the news often truly is a “dirty job.” If we choose this option, we may even shift the site towards simply reporting on jobs that are, in fact, dirty. Digging up dirt on guys who dig dirt; mucking rake on guys who rake muck; yellow journalism about guys whose teeth are yellow; the Moon Dirty Jobs would read like the blue-collar worker’s paradise. This has no direct affiliation with any television programs that you may already be familiar with because why would it?!
Another idea for a rebrand is the Moon Shark Week™. We are using the term “shark week” as a metaphor for the vicious and ruthless attitude of us journalists, and not as any other reference because that would be illegal. We have considered posting a weekly article simply about sharks. This is the very first time the phrase Shark Week will have been used in a trademark-able fashion. What a fun, unique, and completely legal idea, eh? We at the Mythbuster are looking to tap new markets of the media, and we think this nautical focus could break us through to the main stage.
Our last, and perhaps best, of the finalist submissions is the Moon Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman™. This idea is a real shout-out to some of our direct and unlawful inspirations: the hosts of Discovery Channel’s delightful TV show, “Mythbusters”™! This is one of the more ambitious ideas we have, as it could be misconstrued that we are blatantly ripping off the aforementioned show; however, our “official” position is that this is just a way to show how much we care for these men and to give thanks for their hard work over these years. With this message in mind, we would also add a new recurring piece: we will spend one article a week debunking, or “busting,” a pop-culture science myth of your choice as readers! This has never been done before, especially not by Discovery Channel. We think that this unique idea would help elevate us to the upper echelon of media and definitely not get us sued please don’t sue us Adam and Jamie.
We welcome your continued input, so either comment your favorite below or email us your thoughts at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please reach out with any questions, concerns, trademark allegations, notice of lawsuits, etc. that you have with our rebrand! This is an exciting time for us as a news conglomerate, so please be patient as we deliberate about what our rebrand will look like and raise funds for attorneys’ retainers.
P.S. Don’t even think about stealing our old name, Discovery — or we’ll kick your litigious ass to the moon.
P.P.S. Pun intended, b**ch.