• Moon Mythbuster

"This time I’ll stick with it": New year brings students to the gym for "new them"

SOURCES SAY


After the ball drops on New Year’s Eve, one classic American tradition is that of “New Year’s Resolutions,” in which citizens ailing from any problem vow to fix the stress or pain that is holding them back in every facet of their lives. One common resolution is to hit the gym, and that is no different on RMU’s campus.


Statistics show that an average day in December welcomes around 450 users to RMU’s student recreation center, but an average so far in January 2020 sees more than 800 overweight, greasy, slimy faces showing up to polish off their physical flaws.


“This time will actually be different,” said Jane, a junior at Robert Morris looking to stay healthy, adding, “my mom got me a new pair of running shoes to use this year, since the ones she got me last year didn’t help. And a personal trainer the year before that.”


Joshua, a sophomore, says that he’s already lost 20 pounds by “running three miles a day and eating a strict diet of Chex mix and ham only.”


“I honestly only go to the gym for fun,” said Josh. “I heard about this diet on Reddit and after two weeks I already almost, kinda, have a bit of a six pack.”


Others, like Timothy, however, want to “settle into their schedule first,” adding that “I don’t want to overwork myself, my three classes a week can be a bit much, so I’d like to get through the first two to three weeks of classes before committing to something like going to the gym.


“Eventually I’ll get there. It’s definitely different this time,” Timothy said.


A problem that arises from the influx of gym-goers come January is that equipment gets scarce, treadmills fill up, and fitness classes stretch to max capacity.


Nathan, who describes himself as a “gym rat,” says he has a strict routine of getting to the “rec” three times a week to “hit bis and tris,” because he “has an ankle injury that won’t allow him to workout his legs.” He doesn’t like the newcomers.


Nathan, wearing a tank top that says “Everyday Is Arm Day” then went on to state, “I just don’t get why they have to be here, I pay my dues and have earned my respect in the Church of Iron, they don’t have the right to just waltz in here every year and act like they own the place when they can’t even curl 35 lb. dumbbells like I do everyday. There's a reason they call me the ‘Tienanmen Square,’ because I’m bringin’ the tanks.”


Some “newbies,” like Julianna, a senior, have gone to social media to help keep them motivated to stay on their fitness track. “I started a fitness instagram called @juliannafit where you can follow along and see my progress and workouts, like my breathing exercises and what I’m trying to do to make my butt plumper.” Julianna went on to clarify that her fitness instagram was different than her “rinsta and finsta,” which are two seperate accounts, and have confused many of her “fans.”


Whatever RMU students are doing in the month of January to stay fit and to get themselves into the gym, we wish them the best and kindly ask that they wipe their back sweat off the equipment when they’re done using it.

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